Learning To Be Loved

How often is our self-worth based on what we do or offer to others? If we find ourselves in this situation when are we doing or being enough? Is this something unique to only the human species? Butler, my companion and rescued off track race horse, and I recently shared a great moment of awareness.

A little over a year ago it was shared with me that Butler’s purpose in this life was to learn to be loved. “Well,” I thought, “that’s easy…he is loved!” His then foster Mom’s Janelle and Judy, and I all loved him. He was surrounded by those who cared for him deeply and would do anything for him.

Butler’s life lesson has continued to come to the forefront of my mind from time to time. Logically it made sense to me, he is loved. Something told me there was more to this simple statement that I had yet to learn.

Last year Butler and I began training in dressage. I got the sense that he wasn’t really looking for a new career, but because I was enjoying it he was good with our new focus too. A month away from our first schooling test Butler was diagnosed with ringbone on his front right foot. We stopped training for a few weeks to rest this injury and our farrier also fit him with some corrective shoeing. Within a few weeks we were back to enjoying some light riding.

Not long after this he came down with a severe case of cellulitis in his right rear leg. Very painful, swollen and hot we went through weeks of sweat wraps and lots of hand-walking before the swelling finally went away.

On our walks we shared some intimate moments of communication and connection. We also came to the decision that we wouldn’t train to compete. We’d continue with our lessons and focus on enjoying each other’s company and companionship whether that was riding or walking the trails together.

All seemed to be progressing according to plan, until last month. He hadn’t grown any new hoof for the farrier to replace his shoes so we left them off. We also discovered ringbone was developing on his left front foot too. I knew he’d be lame if I rode him without the corrective shoes. The best, and really only choice, was for Butler to have time off for a little R & R.

I began to pick up some anxiety from Butler. Not the normal anxiousness that he shows when he’s made to slow down and rest. It seemed deeper than that. Not long ago while walking with him I came to know and understand his anxiety and concern. For the majority of his life he’s been valued only when he was doing something, like racing. He knew too well that when he no longer met his owner’s expectations, he was no longer valued.

The light bulb went on! Now I understood more fully what his purpose, to learn to be loved, meant. To be loved unconditionally for who he is, not what he does. He was afraid that since he wasn’t rideable he wasn’t going to be valued. I couldn’t hold back the tears as my heart opened and experienced his concern and fear. As these feeling flowed through me I turned and put my arms around his tall, strong neck and let him know unconditionally that he was loved and was in his forever home. He’s valued for who he is in his heart and soul, and to me that is all that matters.

One could see a simple, yet drastic change, ripple through his body. Some of this ripple was relief. I also believe some was the guarded piece of his heart opening and experiencing, maybe for the first time, unconditional love at the core of his being.

This moment of awareness has me looking at my own life and how I perceive my own self-worth. Are there times I only allow myself to feel valued when I’m doing something for another? Where do I let others “perceived” value influence my own sense of self-worth? And, how do I change the perception or eliminate allowing others de-valuing me? Yet again another moment of learning and awareness inspired by Butler.

Is This The Same Dog?

Bingo is Tracy’s soul companion and a retired agility dog. At nearly 15 years old her body is tired and she’s eased into a comfortable retirement. Like many dogs her age one can see the spirit and strength of the soul encased by an aging physical body. To support Bingo in this phase of her life Tracy thought she’d enjoy and benefit from energy work. The day Bingo and I met she greeted me at the door for the formal sniff down and then quietly found her spot on the floor to observe and interact as she felt necessary.

During my first session with Bingo I experienced the energy working directly to support her aging physical body with ease and grace. It was one of those sessions where during the hour I experienced the space Bingo and I shared was timeless and endless; yet also felt it was over in an instant. She easily relaxed into the energy flow, released several deep breathes during the session, and soaked up every vibration of the healing energy. Afterwards she was content to simply lay and rest while Tracy and I talked about her session, especially the insights and picture that Bingo had shared with me.

We scheduled another Reiki session for Bingo one week later. The Bingo that greeted me that day was a completely different dog. There was a lightness and sparkle in her eyes that had been dim the week before. Tracy had noticed she had more energy and brightness about her. Her incontinent episodes where much less, she seemed happier and the wart between her eyes had fallen off. (The wart was something Tracy had addressed with the veterinarian and told not to worry about, yet found it was persistent and continued to grow. You can plainly see it in Bingo’s picture.) That day rather than one long intense Reiki session, Bingo and I shared two short sessions. Bingo directed the length and intensity of each of these sessions.

Our second Reiki treatment began when Bingo her spot on the floor to lay. Rather than Bingo going into a deep relaxed space, she relaxed and was more alert and interactive. We worked together for about 15 minutes and then she got up and moved away. She went to find Tracy, take a drink, and wander around the room. Tracy and I thought she might be done, yet Bingo lay down once again and we shared Reiki for another 25 minutes or so. Again, when she was done she got up and moved away. This time I knew she had received all that she needed.

As always, I learn from each animal I work with. Here are some thoughts from my session with Bingo:

• No two Reiki treatments are ever alike. Leave any expectations at the door and allow the animal and the Reiki energy to work in harmony together for the highest good of the animal.
• Allow the animal freedom to move at their will. (An exception to this would be when the freedom of movement would endanger the animal or you. Set up your treatment space accordingly.)
• An animal moving away during a Reiki treatment may mean they are done, or may indicate they are simply taking a break and will return. Watch and listen to the animal to understand which of these are true.
• Reiki energy continues to work and flow within our bodies after the session. The effects of this are often subtle. Often as the subtle changes compound one will see a big change in the overall picture, just like I saw in Bingo just a week later.
• Re-occurring Reiki treatments are beneficial. They support us in the moment for our highest and best good. One session builds upon the other.

Many people report great results from one Reiki treatment. More people experience longer lasting results and bigger overall life changes with regular Reiki treatments. Depending on the situation subsequent sessions could be days, weeks or even a month apart. I recommend a series of at least 3 treatments to experience the power of Reiki, and then a maintenance schedule thereafter. Consult your Reiki practitioner, as well as your own intuition, for the best follow up treatment schedule.

Hands Off!

Chopper, a beautiful 7 year old brindle Boxer, has been with her human Dad since she was 6 weeks old. Recently her human parents noticed slight changes in her food intake, energy levels, and behaviors that over time signaled to them that something wasn’t quite right. This is where I come into the story and meet Chopper.

She greeted me with a couple warning barks as I walked to the front door, and once I was in the door her barks turned to kisses. Chopper’s Mom and I talked for a few minutes about the concerns they had and I explained what Chopper may experience during our Reiki session.

We started the session in the living room with Chopper lying on her favorite blanket. I asked permission to connect with her and then started the session. She had laid near me for pets and love while talking to her Mom before the session. Not thinking I started the session hands-on, as she was already familiar with my physical touch. She lay quietly for a few minutes then got up and walked to her favorite sunny spot in another room. After a few minutes I quietly followed her and was invited to join her and continue the session.

After another few minutes she got up, licked my face and walked back into the living room and again lay on her blanket. As I re-joined her a thought came to me that she would like the session to be hands-off. I then realized that my comfort level with her overrode my usual procedure of starting animal sessions this way.

We picked up where we left off, this time my hands were several inches from her body. She quickly settled into a Reiki nap and the connection between us strengthened. At some time during the session my hands again found their way to her physical body. This time she was good with the contact and immediately let out a couple of deep releasing Reiki breaths. The session was peaceful, restoring, and insightful.

Chopper’s gentle, yet persistent request for hands-off treatment at first was also a good reminder that Energy work is different from casual interaction. Here are some things to consider:

• Once the energy begins to flow it may be experienced different from normal touch.
• Beginning a treatment with your hands off the body several inches is always a good way to start. The animal will show you what they prefer, it’s up to you to watch and listen.
• Allow the animal to move around as needed. Confining Chopper would have likely resulted in a less pleasant experience for her, and potentially could have escalated into more intense “suggestions” from her to back off.
• Watch the animal for signs of acceptance or discomfort during the treatment and adjust your style/method of sharing Reiki as needed.

Animal Reiki is an opportunity to support the animal and work with them. By simply watching and observing their comfort level and respecting their personal space we can create a beautiful Reiki experience for both giver and receiver.

Know What's In Your Heart

The time had finally come after 40 years of dreaming to finally find a horse of my own. Because of my work with rescues, it was no surprise when I got a call from Joey at Luv Shack Horse Rescue. She said she’d found my horse. He was being fostered not too far away and we set up a date to meet him. In the meantime, I received pictures of Butler, and of course fell instantly in love.

Prior to meeting him, I wanted to connect with him and offer distance Reiki. I settled in for a distance treatment and asked to connect with him. Nothing. I tried several times and didn’t once receive a spark of a connection. And then the questions and uncertainty crept in. Hmmm, was it me? If I couldn’t connect was this really meant to be? Was I doing something wrong?

Realizing I had put myself in a state of doubt and uncertainty I took a few minutes for a self-treatment, re-centered and cleared myself. When ready I tried again. Still nothing. Realizing for whatever reason it was not meant to happen I offered thanks for the experience and looked forward to meeting him in person the next day.

Meeting Butler was a wonderful experience that filled me with joy as well as a strange feeling of not wanting to hope too much in case it didn’t work out. However, you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face for days afterwards.

That night I again wanted to connect with Butler and offer Reiki. Thinking that meeting each other would change things I again settled into a quiet space and sent out the offer. The next thing I heard stopped me in my Reiki tracks and brought a lump to my throat. Butler, in his direct and wise manner which I’ve come to appreciate, simply let me know that if I was not willing to commit myself 100% then he wasn’t either. He wasn’t interested in another half-hearted relationship.

I couldn’t believe it. How did he know? Did he really understand my how much I wanted this, yet was afraid that something might happen to take it away? Right then and there the first of many personal lessons facilitated by Butler began. It didn’t take more than a split second to realize I was guarding my heart, just in case it didn’t work out, and to decided then and there to release it and move forward. Once I made the commitment, we entered into one of many Reiki sessions since that time.

Animals know what’s in your heart. They sense when your outside actions aren’t congruent with your inside thoughts and feelings. Why is this important when offering Reiki? Simply because we’re working in partnership with the animal, which means they must be comfortable with our state of mind, the feelings in our hearts, and our intentions.

Prior to connecting with an animal simply check yourself for emotions, feelings, thoughts, or physical discomforts that may not be conducive to a Reiki session. If they can be cleared and removed, simply do so. Here are a few suggestions to assist you:

• Imagine a white light (or whatever color feels right to you) entering through the top of your head, filling your body and washing away the “stuff” that is ready to leave.
  
  
• A brief meditation connecting you to the energies of the earth (a stable, nurturing foundation) and the sky (divine energies). This will help clear and ground you.
  
  
• Before entering the animals space deposit all that is troubling your mind and heart in a container (real or imaginary) outside the animal’s space. When you leave you can decide whether to pick these things back up or simply release them.
  
  
• Open your heart and share with the animal who you are at that moment – both the good and the bad. Let them understand you’re not projecting this onto them, yet want them to know what’s in your heart. Then let the animal decide if they want to proceed.

Animals are very forgiving. Likely, when you come to them from a place of love, honesty, and integrity you will be welcomed into their lives. And of course, if like me you discover personal issues you’d like to work on, Reiki is the perfect tool to help you heal and become whole.

Good Grief

Reiki works at very personal, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. It’s common for my human clients to seek Reiki during times of grief or loss, whether that be a loved one, a job, or an abrupt change in life. It’s important to remember that animals feel grief and loss too.

Rose and Stella are two horses who arrived at Luv Shack feeling a great sense of loss and grief at the abrupt ending of their human companions life. Joey Ogburn, founder of Luv Shack Horse Rescue, instantly recognized what these two horses were experiencing and knew Reiki would help them find peace and comfort in transitioning to their new home.

Hungry and wary Rose and Stella watched me from a careful distance as I entered the arena where they were eating lunch. You could sense their gentle sweet spirits, as well as see their concern for each other as they settled into this new place. As I talked softly to them from a distance and opened my heart to listen I could feel the heaviness that was in their hearts. It brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes on this otherwise bright and sunny Arizona afternoon.

The Reiki shared with them that day was from a distance, and usually Rose was standing between me and Stella. Regardless I could feel the strength of three spirits connecting and the energy of Reiki filling the space between us. It was a session of understanding; releasing and experiencing peace at a very intimate level deep within our hearts. They continued to eat, move in close now and again for a sniff of my hands, and would occasionally stop and bask in the warmth of the sun as we shared Reiki that afternoon. When done, a definite feeling of calm and hope was shared by all.

Today, Rose and Stella are an intricate part of the herd. Enjoying the company of the other horses and the volunteers who eagerly care for them, they’ve made the transition from grief and concern to peace and harmony.